Wednesday, March 30, 2011

301st

It's 3.14pm sun's scorching hot I so need to go genting or whatever, somewhere, anywhere. Just not here....stuck in Sg.

It's been long since I was last so spontaneous. He came to look me up, wanted to crack some locks open and find some bikes but in the end he borrowed a picopico(wait is that the right term? memory is failing me) A pink one with a basket in the front and a seat a at the back. It was my ideal bike. :) 2 hours of waiting was worth it. We went over to grab some drinks and food at 7-11. Cycled to the beach saw a pretty structure all the way at the right of the beach  far away. It was nice the night breeze chilly but warm at the same time when i hugged him from the back. Before long we were sitting on the breakwater, just listening to the waves.

"64," he broke the silence.

I looked at him,

"64 lights not counting the blue ones"

I laughed. and i started counting, till I reach 30. eventually gave up.

Suddenly he asked "what if i told you i can hear the number of gears in that structure?"

"And how many are there?"

He laughed, and said he dont know, but the nerd him like the sound of the machines. I just like looking at it, the lights were pretty.


We started singing and he said he don't usually sing to people. I smiled, but im not your ordinary "anybody"
The night was only young, when he suggested we went swimming. taken aback i didn't bring any clothes or whatever. He said this is the only time of the day you can do whatever you want and do whatever you like. Crazy stupid shit.

I dontknow why but I agreed.

Thats another side of him i saw, second time i was surprised by him, his words his actions. It was my first time swimming at fourfuckingam. Who the hell actually feel like swimming at 4 and ok lets go. We sneaked into one of the condos nearby and it was this "fuckcare" attitude. I felt so free and felt like we own the whole damn universe.

After that, we went to catch the sun rise. it was his first time watching a sun rise.
Sun rise > Sun set, Cup half full > half empty, should start seeing thing all positive from now onwards.
I was busy fiddling my camera, trying to edit the settings and stuff, stupid camera cost so much but it takes such shit pictures but he interupted my thoughts "are you gonna stop using your camera and come here beside me?"

I did, I watched the sunrise in his arms. Watched how the sun peeked over the horizon slowly, how the sky started to light up in a blend of pinkish orange.

It was a cloudy morning, but nonetheless it was the most memorable sunrise. We started talking about stuff and that emotional wreck teared. Another side I saw, make that 3 times. there you go, i broke down another layer of him.

Before we left he pushed the bike down the break water and he turned back, holding his hand out to help me down. i took his hand, and his strong arms held me down with ease. He turned away to push the bike.

"hey" i said
"yeah?" he turned.
"come here"
I hugged him.

This time, i ain't sure if im letting go








You know what I hate? I hate it when I get too attached to someone, when I get too used to them being a part of my daily routine, used to texting them throughout the day, phone with them at night & see them often and then when something happens & it ends, It’s hard ‘cause now I gotta re-adjust to not talking seeing them, anymore and I gotta start the same cycle over with someone else."

Monday, March 28, 2011

Y SO SERIOUS?

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Dear heart

so.....what's new?

Friday, March 25, 2011

Never felt so damn alive

Yesterday night was one of the shit nights where everything was spinning around, you had no control over anything. Your emotions, the words you splurt out. It’s like a volcano erupting after so long and the lava, molten, ash whatever ejecting, just that in my case it was just all the feelings I had inside of me. And maybe a tear of two. Sick kind of pleasure.

It’s like I’ve never felt so alive, these uncertainties make me feel so alive but yet I cant feel more dead. I need to take a breather, to do something to myself to stop feeling so numb, I feel like I can’t feel anything. Does that even make sense?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Nothing gold stays

Been having alot of alone time recently, and got me reflecting on many stuff. Had my revision lect on Mon, and work yesterday. I would have missed my sup paper tomorrow morning if I didn't check the student portal. Fuck, what the hell are you doing Madel Tan?!

Haven't been sleeping well partly cos of lack of sleep, hanging out and probably cos my godma and grandma had been occupying my bed and i've been sleeping on the mattress without a blanket :/ But the cold I feel on the outside can't really compare to the one I'm feeling inside. Ha. It's been damn long since I met up w any friends....then again how many do I actually have?

Some food for thought cos Nothing gold stays.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Let's go to somewhere only we know

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

My baby

dont really like her new hair but this is a nice picture ^o^ april will be a good month uss w s my bday and 4minute's comeback :>

I think i'm getting fat been eating ice cream lately like fuck i finished 2 tubs of hagen daz so im left w my hazelnut indulgence so anyway im craving for meatballs and pizza and uhm cheesecake. Need to meet up w so many people j, wh, d, a, bk, the 2 piggies! and not forgetting my darlin' cuzzies so anyway meeting the old friends this thurs too for colin's birthday hmm been long long long~

Okay i should start exercising and playing pool and singing karaoke yes i like to sing karaoke by myself hehe

...... dont judge hor kthxbai
Words are all I have

Saturday, March 12, 2011

10.53pm

I need to have some breakfast now

who cares if it's 5 to eleven.
we can have waffles any time we want

with eggs.


...not forgetting sausage with cheese
and milo

Jackie mwamwa



I would marry you if i could baby

Friday, March 11, 2011

Let's all get drunk

This is it

Okay you know what?

Fuck you, Fuck you, and fuck you.
Yes you, you and you.

Fuck this world
Fuck this shit

11:44am

Good morning world.

There are so many things to say. Holidays are here and they've been good. 'posed to be working at the IT fair but it was really frustrating to be working there for a couple of reasons. Would do me, us, him some good and I hope S won't feel like crap or whatever anymore.



So anyway, I can't wait for it alr!!!! It's gonna be a blast i hope nothing goes wrong and i can't wait to see his new haircut too :) I want to watch so many movies, re-watch ftly, watch xia yi zhan xin fu...!!!



Wont be workin at the farm this weekend too so I guess it'd be a quiet weekend w the famz. BKK trip cancelled, :( extremly sad/disappointed.



Anyway 1 day and a month to my birthday, I have no plans whatsoever sigh sigh sigh



.....FUCK I AM SO EXCITED !!!!!!!!! TIME PLS FLY~~~

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Tuesday, March 1, 2011





so sleepyyyyy