How I feel most of the times

what is the world becoming to?
humanity is lacking in compassion, what do we even desire?

you only have how short a time to decipher, Madel.
so think slowly, but hastily dear, you only have how short a time.

cookies anyone?

It 1:11 as I type this.

Good morning world.

Been indulging in all my favourite shit lately. Alot of pool. Dimsum, pancakes, pizza, even coconut. Lol. Lacking drinks tho. Supposed to do my indi shit now but i cant seem to focus :(

Ytd was just talking to another friend, sometimes having a dream is better than attaining it? ..the fantasy sinks in deeper than the physical structure. It consumes your mind thinking, just thinking.

What do we do without dreams?

...need to drink and dream brb

Mid-Nov

What can be better than a moving Chico? Cheers xx GAHHHH WET WEATHER

kannot wait 4 oktoberfez

wow... cant believe it's almost october how did 2012 even pass by so fast? Is it time to stop dreaming now :/// ...more...beer....plz.......

sound noise whatever crap

hi blog today he texted me and i wonder why do people do that.... sigh the song's playin in the bg is like so wtflol sometimes my playlist amaze myself hahaha lately i cant thank god enough for the people in my life Im so thankful so fucking thankful. ////

Hello there

God been ages since I last came here, Haven't been using the comp lately been shuffling myself from work, home, and all the other stuff. Lol feel so disconnectedddd from the world haha its gna be a hectic week ahead :/ I've been feeling a lot. A whole lot actually. I don't know what to say but all's good now, I'm done, and I'm feelin kinda.... aimless. Haha no idea where the heck this is going but we shall see. Ok back to my book have a good week ahead x /cuddles for everyone

beer' n mess

Whew!

finally done with my individual assignment.

Okay time to wash up and head to bed. Prayers tmr, and need to practice violin!

Only left with presentation, freedom has never felt that good. I smell you already!!! Its like forgetting how air feels like after being underwater for too long. I can finally breathe, hurray!

Cheers to the weekend! Have a great one! x

Bored of being bored because being bored is boring

you know the sickening desire to want to just cuddle all day long?

instead of sipping mocha frapp, doing boring work. arhghagdahd

toodles.

Good morning world

No idea what's wrong w me, just yesterday I teared at this song I heard on my Itunes, and this morning I just read something and ouch I swear my heart just flew to Mars and never came back.

That intensity... ... .... wow.

4 to 11

Okay quick one before I head to bed.

It's 4 to eleven and I need to sleep by 12 to ensure I have sufficient sleep (8 hours yes) I am finally finally having cheesecake tomorrow! I can't wait already counting down 20 hours to my dear Cheesecake. The last time I had cheesecake I had beer after that lol it was a great evening tho, great conversation...

Been indulging in all my favourite food, Thai cuisine, Italian food, oh I am totally craving korean food! :( Thai BBQ doesnt count either tho....I am hungry typing this D: Today's weather was absolutely great, amazing weather for a good read.... bathing in the sun but I had to do work :( not that I did much anyway, so probably heading to office tomorrow w the parents then head to school, a full day's work. God this post was mad boring oh whatever time just fly please :(

Goodnight, happy Tuesday :) OMG CHEESECAKE IS CLOSED ON TUESDAY SHIT now have a normal mundane tuesday y'all *pouts*

argh gardens it is. hmph.

too little time

Reasons why I need more than 24 hours:
1. I need more time to sleep
2. I need to more time to procrastinate lol
3. I need to watch my videos (omg last season!)
4. Need to practice violin
5. Ahhhhhhh havent finish individual assignment ok bye bye bye

Been sucha hectic week. Dont even know where to begin.

I'm having so much fun anyway so lol. One last assignment (just sent my grp portion to my mates) and it's my internship omg ok gtg need to shower and head to town. Have a good weekend people x

Did I mention? Kino's having 20% off!!!!

Oh, Happy birthday pump love you :)

Dear you

D:

Craving for something sweet like nutella pie or cheesecake or like something fucking sinful

T_________T i hate life T______T June hols come quick 2 weeks of hell please just pass

this is all so short-lived i wonder how much that fragile thing can take

Hello there

Oh dear had been so busy to even turn on the laptop, hi hi hi I'm still alive.

AND GOD BLESS ME. Have not started on the individual assignment which is NOT a good thing. So just some updates: I displaced one of my back bones (forgot the name of it) lol yes but all's good now, the week was mad alright met up for alot, went for Walt's bday surprise thingy, and had a late h2h talk with Aslyn god (been so long) Did I also mention it's been ages since I last met up with S and R, and A (which I also did this month, and of course mini catch up with C and K too) This had been a pretty good month, with the healthy exercise and all that. And I'm even contemplating if i should go for the mini marathon with the class geez I can't wait for June already come quick now x

I'm so happy now I can flyyyy just that please dear god take my tummyache away from me nao nao nao ohkay gtg need to do abit of work before I go catch a movie with Bren~  OH and almost done with my series woohoo (reminder to self: get some cheesecake asap, and some warm cookies)

What a week

Composing myself in the midst of such a hectic lifestyle. Been pooling so much recently seriously its so fucking addictive, i did it 4 times in the past week. Once on Mon, then on Wed, and I was so exhausted on Friday after shopping with Bren, I was telling him i'm gna play for an hour or two and conk the fuck out and guess what i played for 5 hours. GOD it was so tiring but so fulfiling at the same time, so anyway on Sat met up w the group and I've no idea how we ended up playing pool again.... So yes work today was horrible time past so slowed but little Ashley came to pick me up from work and I caught a huge prawn for her to dapao home hehe. Sent grandma home and I'm supposed to do work now, yes I know, but ok I figured I needed a short post here. Anyway gna lessen frequency of pool, since I'm going back to kickboxing haha getting fat... Okay saying bye to alcohol I won't be doing any alcohol or hang out and say hello to "School-mode Madel" Please be kind to me, and body you got to buck the hell up. You're getting so weak (cues sneeze) My classmate refuse to see a doctor and choose to spread the germs to the entire population. Half the class is sick thank you. /cough cough Have a good May guys x

Stop searchin' babe

Half past 1, and I'm lying on my bed. Can't sleep. Contemplating if I should go grab a beer. Need rest to go farm tomorrow. So many things on my mind. Where should I even begin? Throat's hurtin like crap headache is pounding Reminder to self: stop being so naive and maybe I should start being more realistic and cynical about this world. Nevertheless, hugs for everyone! x

Jackie baby

omgwtfbbq so handsome will you be mine preeeasez

Second day of school

Dear Diary,

Had been so busy during the hols that I haven't been using the comp. Yesterday was the first day of school and it still has not hit me that this is my final year. And thank god for the awesome academic year ahead :) Body clock been pretty fucked lately (after Paris) and I've been feeling super tired :( School's starting and the frequency of me using the laptop will increase and more posts promise. Sorry for neglecting you dear hrl :p

And hello Wednesday, you're my second favourite day of the week.

M.

//
well, the first being any day spent with you.

hello busy catching up on my series and i've got about about 200 episodes to go, There you go Madel Tan anyway wow hello April, you're just around the corner and thank god my period is here right before my london trip anyway so many errands to run!!! God facial yes nails check hair check and erm pool yes pool, been catching up so much on pool and i'm so glad jeff and I can spend so much time together :)

sorry on a side note: why do people plagiarize? o.o

March had been crazy. Really crazy. And wow it's gone in a blink of an eye. Hi April, I embrace you with open arms. Free hugs for everyone!

brb losing blood in progress

yayyy

upgrading to a full-time superwoman brb

FUCK I NEED SOME DONUTS AND COOKIES RIGHT NAO

Hey March First

It's the first day of March and there's nothing I'm looking forward to anymore.

Not quite.

These days past by like it's been months. Time flew by, with routines, going to office/hospital, walk to Taka for food, spend time with her, kiss her goodnight, head back home, wash up, grab beer, feel lightheaded, sleep, wake up, feeling too sober, wondering if everythings just a dream, then start feeling jaded all over again.

Have a good March guys x

Hollow

Just this morning I penned a letter I didn't send.

I poured out my deepest thoughts, was about to reveal this side, this vulnerable side of mine, but... ...this past few days had been exhausting. Draining. It's wearing me thin, shuttling to and fro the hospital. She's doing better now, much better, today's the 3rd day of not eating, she lost weight. Lips dry, and pale. Lifeless eyes, with spiritless movements. She woke up when I stepped into the room, though I did with soft and light steps. I tried to crack a joke or two, she smiled, I teased, relieved. So much relief.

Just yesterday I heard her yelped in pain before the 1st surgery, how much it pains my heart, oh how it tugs at my soul. How should I even describe it? Helpless? Empty? Hollow. I took my keys out and opened the bottle with the familiar green lever. Surprise me, god, surprise me. The games you're playing.

I did it again didn't I? Trusting someone I shouldn't have. It's this constant, never-ending hollowness that fills me. What irony huh. This wrenching heartsink. I hear sniffs, far away. Distant. No, not from me. Not from the new me.

p.s: The consolation? I've hit rock-bottom dear god, and I cant go any lower.

rainy tuesday

calls for some ice cream therapy

all decked in red tonight hope lady luck's on my side
willing to give you 12373289 kisses and hugs mwa mwa mwa

time will tell

thats what they all say and ive no idea if its me or what
seriously got me thinkin alot lately maybe its expectation that kills

then again contrains are killing too
've got no clue whats next the route and the future so bleak

over thinking kills and everything's so krazy cant wait for tmrs game

have a good weekend people

round 2 tonight

and the good ol' boys were saying
honey we go big or go home

Big is the answer obviously
big and beer rhymes anyway,
wait it doesnt..? too little beer man.

more, more, till it all rhymes.

Holidays are so close, assignments due, presentations....
I can smell you already.

Anyway guess who's gna celebrate her birthday in London?
Fuck yeah April come quick Cant wait.

..and guess who's a sick kitty, AGAIN. crappy immune system /cough cough
need my daily dose of aspirin :>

back t assignments and thr's a presentation tmr, and test on fri and another on mon and it goes on and on and on and on and on

have a good week y'all!

keepin me on tenterhooks darling

Swinging in the back yard
Pull up in your fast car
Whistling my name

Open up a beer and
Say get over here
And play your video game

In your favorite sun dress
Watching me get undressed
Take that body down town, honey

I say you the bestest
Lean in for a big kiss
Put his favorite purfume on,
Go Play your video games

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew.
They say that the world was built for two.
On our way with living
If somebody is loving you
Baby nowt will do

Singing in the old bar
Swinging with the old stars
Living for the fame
Kissing in the blue dark
Playing pool and wild darts
Video games

He holds me in his big arms
He's drunk and I am seeing stars
This is all I think of
Watching all our friends fall
Leaning out of old cars
This is my idea of fun
Playing video games

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew.
They say that the world was built for two.
On our way with living
If somebody is loving you
Baby now you do

(Now you do)

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth wit' you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew.
They say that the world was built for two.
On our way with living
If somebody is loving you
Maybe now you do

Maybe now you do

CANT WAIT FOR TMR'S GAME!!!!

cough cough

popping pills expecting to recover immediately :(

had been camping home recently nursing myself back to health.
back to assignments :(((((

Wtf thursday alr?

Wtf February alr? Cannot wait for March already.....Feb's gna be SO super duper exhausting plus there's so many assignments due, and tests, and presentations and Valentine's day double wtf no triple disappointment.

Some Chico therapy to make me better T____T

willing to run anywhere with you baby

double combo ^___^

COME TO ME NOW ALREADY YOU QTPIE

Have a good February y'all! x

on repeat forever

happy tuesday happy 1st feb, happy birthday woo jia xin
lets all dance to joy division

you chase the blues away

strike a match and you send it blazing
you've got my heart on a trance
making me wanna dance
only with you darling,

only if its with you.

:(

Madel Tan you can do better than this

Why are you caving in already? Good lord.

Time won't you hurry?
....please?

No mood to study. Gna sleep the fuck off.



////higher than the moon~
and when I flew the ground never felt that hard
Maybe the clouds got sick of the meteorites
...mercurial's to blame,
or the missing of some sparks?

You see some flashin' light far away,
The faint glimmer fadin away
Then came a drop or two.
You came too sober. We came too sober.

you're my personal brand of beer

was studying for ppm test tomorrow and idk how i ended up looking at cues

miss pool sooooo much :(
ok need to hit a few balls soon. like   a s a p

BACK TO Slide 329

picture says it all

Hey morning friday

Lately I've been updating alot, which means im on the laptop alot,
which means i've tons of work to do which is not a good sign :(

Been surviving this whole festive season without a phone and look at me, I'm still alive and breathing, being uncontactable is kinda nice once in awhile.

idk if its me or what but we've been feeling kinda apathetic lately, its like everyone's jaded. its so saddening :(
or maybe it's just a phase and temperamental shit. its like god's playing sims, letting us do all the wrong shit, meet the wrong people, let us be on tenterhooks 24/7, not knowing whats gna happen.

 its so difficult to eschew sinful pleasure, alcohol and cigarettes are every-fucking-where. then you got reminded that the fucking acetaldehyde accumulated hurts, then again, i'd hurt everytime just to forget the world.

so cheers

thank god for beer when everything fails

once again

got emotional over no shit.
why do you always have to do this?

youve no fucking idea how much you affect my emotions

"you're the only star that shines in my sky"

say hello to day 4 without a handphone. i can totally live without technology.

dreamt of stuff i dont wanna dream about, is it true that that particular person in your dream is missing you?

These days i've been feeling rather weird, that words cant describe. it's like kinda hollow/vaccum kind of thing. i think it's just a phase. or maybe its the beer or champagne. i think i just miss me time. theres so many people around me but all i want is to spend some time alone.

theres so many assignments due, so many things on my mind. sighhhh

whats there to think when theres beer? bottoms up.

time to disappear from the face of the world

dont miss me while im gone k

time check: half past 11. have a gd cny y'all!

Rise and shine cupcakes

finally done w my stuff, gna study my test now and god im hungrii

would die for some palio pasta now



whadafakkkk GNA FAINT NOW brb