Hollow

Just this morning I penned a letter I didn't send.

I poured out my deepest thoughts, was about to reveal this side, this vulnerable side of mine, but... ...this past few days had been exhausting. Draining. It's wearing me thin, shuttling to and fro the hospital. She's doing better now, much better, today's the 3rd day of not eating, she lost weight. Lips dry, and pale. Lifeless eyes, with spiritless movements. She woke up when I stepped into the room, though I did with soft and light steps. I tried to crack a joke or two, she smiled, I teased, relieved. So much relief.

Just yesterday I heard her yelped in pain before the 1st surgery, how much it pains my heart, oh how it tugs at my soul. How should I even describe it? Helpless? Empty? Hollow. I took my keys out and opened the bottle with the familiar green lever. Surprise me, god, surprise me. The games you're playing.

I did it again didn't I? Trusting someone I shouldn't have. It's this constant, never-ending hollowness that fills me. What irony huh. This wrenching heartsink. I hear sniffs, far away. Distant. No, not from me. Not from the new me.

p.s: The consolation? I've hit rock-bottom dear god, and I cant go any lower.

rainy tuesday

calls for some ice cream therapy

all decked in red tonight hope lady luck's on my side
willing to give you 12373289 kisses and hugs mwa mwa mwa

time will tell

thats what they all say and ive no idea if its me or what
seriously got me thinkin alot lately maybe its expectation that kills

then again contrains are killing too
've got no clue whats next the route and the future so bleak

over thinking kills and everything's so krazy cant wait for tmrs game

have a good weekend people

round 2 tonight

and the good ol' boys were saying
honey we go big or go home

Big is the answer obviously
big and beer rhymes anyway,
wait it doesnt..? too little beer man.

more, more, till it all rhymes.

Holidays are so close, assignments due, presentations....
I can smell you already.

Anyway guess who's gna celebrate her birthday in London?
Fuck yeah April come quick Cant wait.

..and guess who's a sick kitty, AGAIN. crappy immune system /cough cough
need my daily dose of aspirin :>

back t assignments and thr's a presentation tmr, and test on fri and another on mon and it goes on and on and on and on and on

have a good week y'all!

keepin me on tenterhooks darling

Swinging in the back yard
Pull up in your fast car
Whistling my name

Open up a beer and
Say get over here
And play your video game

In your favorite sun dress
Watching me get undressed
Take that body down town, honey

I say you the bestest
Lean in for a big kiss
Put his favorite purfume on,
Go Play your video games

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew.
They say that the world was built for two.
On our way with living
If somebody is loving you
Baby nowt will do

Singing in the old bar
Swinging with the old stars
Living for the fame
Kissing in the blue dark
Playing pool and wild darts
Video games

He holds me in his big arms
He's drunk and I am seeing stars
This is all I think of
Watching all our friends fall
Leaning out of old cars
This is my idea of fun
Playing video games

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth with you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew.
They say that the world was built for two.
On our way with living
If somebody is loving you
Baby now you do

(Now you do)

It's you, it's you, it's all for you
Everything I do
I tell you all the time
Heaven is a place on earth wit' you
Tell me all the things you want to do
I heard that you like the bad girls
Honey, is that true?
It's better than I ever even knew.
They say that the world was built for two.
On our way with living
If somebody is loving you
Maybe now you do

Maybe now you do

CANT WAIT FOR TMR'S GAME!!!!

cough cough

popping pills expecting to recover immediately :(

had been camping home recently nursing myself back to health.
back to assignments :(((((

Wtf thursday alr?

Wtf February alr? Cannot wait for March already.....Feb's gna be SO super duper exhausting plus there's so many assignments due, and tests, and presentations and Valentine's day double wtf no triple disappointment.

Some Chico therapy to make me better T____T

willing to run anywhere with you baby

double combo ^___^

COME TO ME NOW ALREADY YOU QTPIE

Have a good February y'all! x

on repeat forever

happy tuesday happy 1st feb, happy birthday woo jia xin
lets all dance to joy division